Email #11

Hello. Family. I am great.

I have many things I want to say today, but first I´d like to start with saying happy birthday to Lizzie. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Second, I just want to testify of the power of prayer. I can tell you the exact minute you all gathered to pray for me. I felt those surges of power hit me through the week… but there was one particular time. I believe it was Monday night, that I knew you were all praying for me. I went to the room, and I cried like a little girl as I felt the spirit surging through me. It was almost like pulses of energy pushing me down into the ground. It kicked off a great week.
Now, what I will say I know is true. I know it more than anything. I am not perfect at living it quite yet, but I know this is the route I want to take in life, and I want everyone to know about it. These thoughts filled my mind as spiritual inspiration, and as a week long answer to prayer. Because I can`t speak-understand very much, I found myself pondering a lot of things.. and talking with others as much as I could. This answer is penetrating, and it came after 2 years of praying.
By the way, we had a baptism this week. I´ll send photos next week.
First, there are two types of powers in this world. We have the true and living power of God, and we have the power that comes from vanity, pride, and the carnal man in a sense. The first comes from living the commandments of God, and the second comes from breaking the commandments to recieve false praise from another. One is found by complete selflessness, and the latter comes by solely seeking to praise yourself. One is perfection, and the other is sin. What I discovered this week, as it says in the scriptures, that charity is the bond of perfection. Every sin, no matter what it is, is a product of a desire to fulfill your personal needs. People rob to have what they don`t have, and some people place others down to place themselves on a pedestal for a while. Here´s what I´m saying… I have been living my life wrong for the past 3 or so years. It started senior year when I began to seek this false power at the expense of others. This power will always fail, and it will leave us feeling dark and confused. Now, I always have been a good boy. I have always kept the commandments, but there was one that slipped my mind. The second. The second of all commandments. Love thy neigbor as thyself. Now that I think of it, I haven`t been living this at all. Now, on this mission, I have discovered that this is what I am to do. In luke it says, and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
Second, my basic definition of a doubt is any thing that satan puts in our mind to distract from completing the work of the Lord. Anything. Also, anything that comes from satan is sin, and any sin is focused on satisfying your inward desires. I don`t know if this even makes sense, but my point is God and Jesus Christ sought only to bless the lives of others. Doubts are inward focuses. If we want true happiness, we must reach for it in a focus outside ourselves. Monson said, ¨whatever your fears or anxieties, pray and then go.¨ Doubts always leave if we seek first to bless the life of another.
In my discoveries, if we truly want to draw unto Jesus and receive the true power of God, we will never reach it if we seek it for ourselves. It comes as we keep the commandments. All of them. Love thy neighbor, help him first have true happiness, then you will find that it comes to you later. I have received letters of gratitude from people expressing their thanks to my letters for answering their prayers… This is the way. Help others. You will receive help.
Here`s the thing I love about doubts and fears, they are always pathetic. Yet, if we give place to them, they are effective. Next time you have a doubt, think… what am I missing here? Doubts are from satan to prevent us from completing the will of the father. If you have doubts, first look outward. Seek to resolve other people`s problems and doubts. This is the way of Jesus Christ. He who layeth his life down for his friend will be saved. This is not literal. This is every day communion. Seek first to benefit others, and you will find true power.
I thank God every day for giving me this knowledge. It will change my life. I have now committed to never do a thing for myself again. If I brush my teeth, do it so my investigators don`t die. This is the way. I have now committed to every one who reads this… so this is going to happen.
I am great. I had days this week I just couldn`t stop smiling. I´m not coming home until I learn this lesson. I don`t ever want to go home. I`m learning too many things about life.
Please apply this in your life. I know this is a huge lesson I have to learn, and I pray that God will have mercy on my soul that he may see fit to change me to bless others. I don`t want to live for me anymore. Our purpose is to help others. I am so grateful that I am learning this lesson so early in the field.
I love you all. Tell Lizz happy birthday. Thank you so much for the prayers. I know they working. The spirit said in my mind every time ¨they`re praying for you,¨ and it tore me up. I´m so grateful for your help. Please never forget that email, and continue praying. I am doing great, but I feel a bit like I´m walking on a tight rope trying to establish some new habits.
To Jessica, I am so sorry that I haven`t written you yet. I don`t have much time in the field, but I want you to know that I treasure your letters, and I know the Lord is blessing you and your family. I´m so excited to be an uncle. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and spiritual insights.
I love you family, Happy birthday lizzie. Thanks for thinking of me. I know that God and Jesus Christ lives.
-Love Elder Christian Jacobsen
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